Bribing kids 101

The popular phrase around the house these days is, “if you listen to mama and baba, we’ll get you a kinder egg.”


When did our kids get to be smarter than us? I always thought I’d be the mother that would have all the patience in the world to sit and try to reason with a child when you want them to do something, but sometimes we just want to speed up the process. I know I’m not alone in this – we’ve all done it. 

Below are my top 5 scenarios for when bribing comes in handy:

1. When I need to rush out the door for an appointment and all M wants to do is take off his pants and run around the house screaming “bunzy, bunzy, bunzy”. 

2. When I want M to pee in the toilet rather than his pants, floor, bidet, or any other space that would form a puddle quite nicely.

3. When I want him to sit in his carseat as opposed to sitting in the driver seat and proceeding to lock me out of the car.

4. When I want to leave a place (i.e. playground, school, playdate, parents house) to head home. My son takes about an hour to loosen up wherever I take him, and it’s always right before I want to leave.

5. When I’m in any scenario (all of the above and more) and holding baby S and he’s screaming at the top of his lungs, in which case I’ll give M anything and everything to ease the situation.

These are my top 5 that come to mind. I’ll even give you the perfect example from today where bribing M was at its finest. My hubby and I and the boys were asked to be a part of a small video shoot for client X. Of course, M being M, refused to sit and be filmed. So, I told him I would get him a Kinder egg if he sat in the chair till we finished….that didn’t impress him much. So I upped the ante. “Ok M, I’ll get you TWO kinder eggs”….no that didn’t work. He still insisted on running around and doing everything BUT sit in the chair. Ok ok, I’ve got it this time. “Hey M, I’ll give you THREE kinder eggs if you just sit in the [damn] chair.” You should have seen this kids face light up. That was the winning number. THREE. And he listened. It worked – for 5 minutes at least.

I do believe bribing can make things worse for you – but what’s a mama to do sometimes (and a baba). And I’m using a kinder egg to bribe – it’s not like I’m bribing him with a Rolls-Royce. Or is this how it starts? Does it start with a kinder egg and work it’s way up to a Rolls-Royce? Cuz if so, I’m in biiiiiiig trouble.

It’s survival of the fittest right now. Gotta stay one step ahead or M (and baby S soon enough) will be running the show before we know it.


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